Coming Out to a Spider

Because she spun a downy web
in the corner of my bedroom
and sat patiently unperturbed.

Because it counted as saying it aloud to
a living being, a body of matter and feeling,
even if the words were for myself, sticky
strings pulled from my lips in which
I’ll always have to make my home.

Because I could practice stuttering beneath
the stare of eight eyes at once.

Because she wasn’t Charlotte, and I
would not wake up to “Some Homo”
or “Fruity” written in her web.

Because she had seen all the evidence:
my sister’s boy band issues of Teen People
smuggled into my bedroom, the night tremors
mumblings of Dylan, Trevor, Kevin
in the desiring vocabulary of sleep.

Because I am still afraid of spiders
and could pretend it was her that I feared.

Because I could smash the witness
with a newspaper, smear the blame across
the wall, and wash myself in the cleansing blood
of the clorox bottle.

Chase Dimock is an English Professor from Los Angeles and he serves as the Managing Editor of As It Ought To Be Magazine. His poetry has been published in Waccamaw, Hot Metal Bridge, Faultline, Saw Palm, New Mexico Review, and Flyway among others. He holds a PhD in Comparative Literature from the University of Illinois and his scholarship in World Literature and LGBT Studies has appeared in College Literature, Western American Literature, Modern American Poetry, The Lambda Literary Review, and several edited anthologies.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will never be published or shared and required fields are marked with an asterisk (*).

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.