Columbine was a big deal. Gunshots indoors do not sound like what you think they sound like. You will get to experience that today. Let me show you a bullet through paper. Tell your children. Children, put your backpacks between you and the shooter. Paper slows bullets. You will get to experience that today. Columbine was a big deal, so here’s how to break out a window. If your coworker begs at the door, do not let her in. You will get to experience that today. Tell your children how to break out a window. Let’s build a barricade against your coworkers. Where will you meet after the event? Put your hands up when we tell you to put your hands up. We won’t shoot you, even though Columbine was a big deal. We don’t want to shoot you. We don’t know who you are. Sit at your desk and plan your projectiles. Throw things at coworkers for practice. Practice saying Columbine was a big deal. Tell your children, Columbine was a big deal. You will get to experience that today. 

Jennifer Gravley makes her way in Columbia, Missouri. She is a writer of sentences and a watcher of bad television. Her work has recently appeared in Sou’wester, New Delta Review, and The Fourth River, among others.