No Thank You
CHARACTERS:
BETH & LESLIE are women in their 30s.
BETH is dressed comfortably but conservatively. Her hair & makeup are put together. LESLIE has a bolder look. She has a few tasteful piercings & edgy accessories.
SETTING:
A coffee shop. Today.
AT RISE:
Beth sits at a table with two to-go cups of coffee. There’s an empty seat across from her.
BETH fidgets in her seat, her gaze slightly down. Then:
LESLIE enters. Beth stands to greet her.
BETH
Hi Leslie.
LESLIE
Yeah, hi.
After a moment of hesitation, they shake hands and sit.
BETH
How are you?
LESLIE
(ignoring) I only have a couple minutes.
BETH
Of course.
LESLIE
I have work in an hour, and I need to grab breakfast beforehand –
BETH
They have food here. Bagels and… I got you a coffee, if you’d like –
LESLIE
No thank you.
BETH
Okay.
(after a moment)
I’m incredibly grateful you agreed to meet me, even for just a moment.
LESLIE
Just to get to the point –
BETH
Right –
LESLIE
Why did you ask to meet with me?
BETH
All I want is to offer you a long overdue apology.
LESLIE
Okay.
BETH
I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I promise not to ask for it. But even so, you deserve to hear from me face-to-face.
All I can say is that… I was indoctrinated from a young age with terrible lies about all types of people… but especially gay people. I know now the evil things I’ve done in the name of God, and I am trying my best to make things right –
LESLIE
Is this like an AA thing?
BETH
…What?
LESLIE
In AA, they tell you to go around and apologize to everyone you wronged –
BETH
It’s… the only thing I can think of to do.
LESLIE
So you’re apologizing to… everyone? How many protests did you do?
BETH
…Hundreds.
LESLIE
And… how many of those were at funerals?
BETH
- Maybe more.
LESLIE
Well, you’ve apologized. There you go. You can cross me off your list.
BETH
(before Leslie gets up)
If there’s anything you want to say or… ask perhaps.
LESLIE
No thank you.
BETH
I understand if you’re angry.
LESLIE
Do I seem angry?
BETH
All I mean is that I would understand if you were. I did the worst thing imaginable.
LESLIE
No. The worst thing would have been to kill my brother. You just celebrated the guy who did.
BETH
I’m sorry my actions have caused you so much pain.
LESLIE
You’re giving yourself too much credit. I didn’t know you back then, and I still don’t.
And whether or not your congregation picketed his funeral, Jeff would still be gone, so… I’m not angry. It’s not worth it, it never was. And as you said, you were indoctrinated, so…
I do have a question.
BETH
Anything.
LESLIE
What do you think this does?
BETH
I don’t know what you mean –
LESLIE
What are you trying to accomplish by apologizing to every single person face-to-face?
BETH
Just the right, best thing.
LESLIE
Does it make you feel better?
BETH
Not really.
LESLIE
Less guilty?
BETH
…No.
LESLIE
Well, it’s not helping me either, to remember that a whole church of supposed Jesus people literally celebrated the death of my brother, which only reminds me that plenty of others were celebrating as well, all over, silently and out of sight. So why do you do it?
BETH
I’m sorry if this seems selfish.
LESLIE
It’s just not helping me. And you said it’s not helping you –
BETH
I’m trying my best to –
LESLIE
It’s too late. You know that, right?
BETH
Yes.
LESLIE
You preyed on people at their weakest, and you enabled others to do the same. How could you possibly fix this?
BETH
I can’t fix it. I know that –
LESLIE
Should I congratulate you on changing from vile to decent?
BETH
No.
LESLIE
Then why do all of this?
BETH
I… just want to do the right thing.
LESLIE
Yes, you keep saying that. But did you ever consider – after everything you’ve done – that maybe the right thing is for you to just fucking kill yourself?
A beat.
BETH
I –
LESLIE
I’m sorry. Clearly, I am angry.
BETH
It’s okay.
LESLIE
Fuck. I don’t have much room for forgiveness these days.
BETH
I completely deserve it –
LESLIE
No, you don’t. Even you don’t.
BETH
Honestly, this is like the AA thing. I’m trying to make amends.
LESLIE
It’s… I guess that’s good.
I shouldn’t have said that.
BETH
Please, it’s forgotten. The least I can do.
LESLIE
Even after all this time, it’s still just below the surface… a generalized anger. Are the others… are they usually like me?
BETH
Yes. Many have been incredibly generous as well, which –
LESLIE
Oh God –
BETH
– I’m thankful for.
LESLIE
So I’m one of the not-so-generous ones…?
BETH
No, I didn’t mean to –
LESLIE
I read the profile they did about you in the Times – after you renounced your church. It was very sympathetic.
BETH
Sympathy I don’t deserve.
LESLIE
Your family won’t speak to you? That was mentioned in the article.
BETH
I don’t know if they won’t ever… but they haven’t since.
LESLIE
…That’s shitty. I’m sorry.
BETH
Thank you.
LESLIE
…So what is the best thing to do?
BETH
Maybe you were right. Maybe I’m doing more harm than good.
LESLIE
Right, but I meant, what’s the best thing for me to do now?
BETH
I’m not sure…
I guess I should forgive you. That’s the mature thing, right?
BETH
I don’t know.
LESLIE
But what do you think? If you weren’t you, what would you tell me to do?
BETH
I… I don’t think it’s my place –
LESLIE
That’s the least you could do.
BETH
(after a moment)
…I don’t think there’s a downside to forgiving others.
LESLIE
Sure there is. If forgiveness is so easily given, people will think it’s just as easily earned.
BETH
I meant for you.
A beat.
LESLIE
After it all came out, you know, why he was killed… My mom said, “Why did Jeff have to be so public about the gay thing?”
She wasn’t saying my brother deserved it… And I know why she said it, so… I let it go.
But it’s years later now, and she still thinks that.
I’m just sick of waiting for people to see the light. Even if I keep hoping that they do.
BETH
I’m trying my best to –
LESLIE
I know.
(a moment)
I… do need to go to work –
BETH
Of course –
I promise it’s not just an excuse.
BETH
Even if it was…
Leslie stands. Beth sits forward.
BETH
If you… I know you need to go, but my flight out isn’t until tomorrow morning. If you wanted to talk or vent or… I promise only to listen.
Leslie considers it.
LESLIE
No. I don’t think so.
BETH
Okay.
LESLIE
(after a moment, pointing to the coffee cup) Is there cream in that?
BETH
No, but they have some at the counter –
LESLIE
I like it black.
BETH
Oh good.
Leslie picks it up and stands there, between the door and the table, stuck.
LESLIE
Thank you.
BETH
You too.
Leslie takes a sip of the coffee.
BLACKOUT.
Jesse Cramer is a writer and director living in Los Angeles. After receiving his English BA from Penn State University, he moved to Atlanta to pursue writing and theater. While there, his play The Strange Attractor received its world premiere at Act3 Productions and was subsequently nominated for a Suzi Bass Award for playwriting. Additionally, he has worked on a number of film and television productions, including Sundance premiere A.C.O.D. as well as showsExtant, Battle Creek, and Maron. Most recently, his short film Circles – featuring characters and actors on the Autism Spectrum – received its world premiere at the AS Film Festival in Rome, Italy.